2018 in Retrospect
First of all, I think the title of this post is cliche and never have I imagined myself writing a publicly-available retrospective post. But, since we are here, let’s get right to it.
2018 was terrible (Haha…that was just to catch your attention, but…). At the beginning of the year, while everyone was setting goals, stating new year resolutions, trying to figure out what they wanted to do in the new year, my case was different (LOL).
So, I went for NYSC camp in November and concluded in December, that was the beginning of my frustration. For context, prior to camp, I already had a paying job. All was going fine (at least that’s what it looked like). Then the whole registration and posting wahala surfaced. Before going to camp, I didn’t know one was to get a letter of request from the organization they work with, so you get posted there for the service year. Well, this posed as a very big problem for me, as I had to first get rejected from where I was posted to, then get posted to where I wanted. Thankfully, I found a way around it.
Circling back, the whole NYSC was too much for me to handle, things were not looking so good at home and I was basically overthinking every other thing. I found a way to put it all behind me, then set my goals for the year.
At first, it was all confusing and I didn’t know what to do. I just set those goals because everyone sets yearly goals (and maybe to convince myself that my life wasn’t a shit show).
From January to June
I was broke, the goals were just looking at me and I was looking at it. I was depressed, lonely, had no idea what I was doing. I kept asking myself what it was I wanted to do.
Till now, I have no idea.
Everyone goes, what do you like? What is it that you just find yourself doing? What spikes your interest? And the answer remains the same, I don’t know. At some point, I had no idea what I was doing TBH. I was just moving (or was I?).
Along the line, I started programming (all in the name of finding what exactly I wanted to do). However, my journey was cut short when my system crashed and that was it.
I just kept working. I love working. That was the only thing that kept me sane. I hate being idle. I’m not the best at house chores. But when it comes to working, my eyes lit up. Like I’m usually excited. I looked forward to Mondays. It was my favourite day of the week. I hated weekends basically.
At some point in May, Benjamin Dada tweeted this:
Believe it or not, that tweet did something amazing to me (we would come back to this). During the same month of May, I got a pay raise. And you best believe, this girl was about to live her best life. It took a while to get used to. I try to live within the same salary I was receiving before, then save the rest. Yeah, started saving too in the first half of 2018.
July to December
Most of the growth I recorded this year can be traced to the third and fourth quarter of this year.
Earlier I mentioned a tweet by Benjamin, that sparked the beginning of my friendship with Zizzy (one of the handles he mentioned).
On one of those nights, while I was feeling down and could not sleep, I saw Zee’s (as I fondly call her) tweet and decided to send her a DM. She called me and we spoke at length. I had never met her before but we were both pouring out our hearts to each other, at that very moment. She made me see things clearer. I repeat she has never met me before but she told me how amazing I am. It meant a lot to me and she inspires me.
During this same quarter, I had more responsibilities, I met more people. Also, I gave a talk at the office. I was super excited and nervous about it, turns out it was amazing if I do say so myself.
I got asked multiple times the question that could earn me a promotion but guess what, the answer remained the same — I don’t know. Till this very day, I regret that I was unable to answer.
The only thing that kept me going was the people around me and my work. Even at some point, I was just too tired and frustrated.
The Bright Side
While I was busy having downtime and wallowing in self-doubt, people were beginning to notice me. Just to put this to context, anyone that knows me is fully aware that I don’t know how to appreciate “being noticed” neither do I appreciate being put on the spot.
But this time I was becoming visible, people were talking about my work even those that didn’t know what I did. At first, I just wanted to shrink back into my shell. I kept asking myself since when I became so noticeable. People I didn’t think cared about my existence, stopped me several times and asked about my wellbeing.
Although this was unsettling at the beginning, things started looking up. I had to be bold and more confident. I had to speak up (this was and remains hard for me). But, it was the game changer.
Also, I travelled out of the country for the very FIRST TIME! (yup, it’s a big deal). I have always looked forward to leaving the country and yes December 2018 was the time.
I travelled to South Africa for a week, thanks to Softcom. While I was privileged to be there, I visited Magaliesburg, Johannesburg, and Capetown. Those cities were magnificent. During the trip to SA, I was awarded Customer Hero of The Year. To be honest, that award still feels surreal and I’m so undeserving.
Next Steps
Coming from someone that does not know what she wants (LOL). My plans for 2019 are not highlighted. However, I hope to:
- Get certified in Project Management
- Complete my Web Development course
- Go out more (This is a NEED)
- Be a product manager! (Looking forward to this!)
To be honest, I don’t know how I’m going to manage this but at least I can hope, right?
In Summary
2018 came with a lot of ups and downs but also with lessons and growth. I found favour a lot of times even when I was undeserving. Built meaningful friendships and bond. Wallowed in self-doubt a lot (this has to change).
All in all cheers to a better 2019!
Edited by: Benjamin Dada. Visit his blog here. He’s your plug for the best tech and fintech articles.
